Beyond the Patio

Our Desire for a New Life
John 20:19-31

Sometimes life is wearisome especially as winter winds down and you hope that Spring will fully come. However,  when  it remains cool, dreary and wet you wonder whether Spring will ever come.  This feeling seems to correspond with struggle with the meaning of life and death.  As the dark clouds appear to usher in another period of rain, our visions and dreams also grow dimmer.  Our faith in God and hope of the future wanes.  We grow anxious about the present and we nostalgically  look to the past.  We even become weary of well doing.  Just as we desire the return of Spring and the newness that it brings to the earth, we also desire new life.

It is interesting that Easter, the Passover and some festivals of other religions come at this time of year when the flowers are beginning to bloom, leaves are coming out on trees, and new life is seen everywhere in nature and there  is a release from the deadness of the winter months.  I believe that it represents a desire for new life in us and release from the bondage that hold us. Even in the secular world Easter is celebrated in reference to Easter bunnies, new born chicks, cracked egg shells and chocolate eggs which are all symbols of the cyclical renewal that takes place at this time of year.  I think that this symbols signify a universal desire for renewal.

In many of the ancient religions of the world renewal in our lives takes place by coming in terms with death.  Renewal of life is seen as coming through the giving up of the ego-self and reaching an enlightened state where we are connected with the ground of all Being, with all of life which leads to true compassion.  In this way we transcends bondage that death holds on us  and see life in a whole new way.  As Joseph Campbell points out in The Power of Myth that there is a dimension of the universe that is not available to the senses alone:

There is a pertinent saying in one of the Upanishades” “When before the beauty of a sunset or of a mountain you pause and exclaim , ‘Ah,’ you are participating in divinity”.  Such a moment of participation involves a realization of the wonder and sheer beauty of existence.  People living in a world of nature experience  such moments every day.  They live in the recognition of something there that is much greater than the human dimension.
(The Power of Myth, Anchor Books, Doubleday Dell Publishing group, New York, N.Y. 1988, Masks of Eternity p. 258)

Douglas Todd who has written in the Vancouver Sun at one time wrote an article about life after death this Easter.  He talked about the atheist philosopher AJ Ayer having a renewed sense of life after having choked on a piece of Salmon and went into cardiac arrest, being literally dead for 4 minutes.  Todd writes:

The atheist philosopher, known as “Freddie” to his friends, also quietly suggested his near-death experience (NDE) provided “rather strong evidence that death does not put an end to consciousness.”

Just as importantly, Ayer’s wife, Dee, told anyone who would listen, including journalists, that her husband had become much more pleasant company after his NDE.

As Dee quaintly put it: “Freddie has got so much nicer since he died.”

Most people that experience NDE like Ayer report feeling deeply transformed afterwards, more altruistic and connected to friends and loved ones.

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In the Gospel today we have the disciples experiencing the presence of Jesus risen from death. Although we can call it a resurrection appearance of Jesus, it really is a resurrection of the disciples who were in the midst of death-like experience.  They were in the midst of a struggle as to the meaning of life and death.  They had lost faith and hope.  Their dreams and visions had died.  The life that they experienced in Jesus as the best they had every known was now gone. They were in grief.  They were in sorrow, They were fearful.  They went and hid.  Life had gone out of them. But somehow in the midst of this darkness, they experienced light.  They realized that the Christ in them did not die but was resurrected within. There was a slow transformation from being followers and observers of the Christ to being Christ-like. They experienced renewal,  new birth and new life.

What seemed to be a short period of time their lives were transformed. They went forth into the future with courage, knowing a strength beyond their own,  led by a new sense of purpose.  They were convinced that Christ was still present within them and leading them to a more compassionate lifestyle in the world and towards all people.

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That desire for new life exists in all of us and the story of the resurrection confronts us with the conviction that renewal of life can happen to us at any time and at all times. It comes like an act of Grace in the midst of our deepest struggles like it came to the disciples in  the difficult time of grief and doubt. We begin to catch the glimpse of a light in the midst of our darkness. It starts out dimly and eventually through time, moves into a flame like that described in the story of Pentecost and the coming of the Holy Spirit.

 Resurrection comes to me when I have been able to move beyond self.  I realize that being all wrapped up in self makes “a very small package”. At times I have been able to move beyond the myself centered in the ego and have been able to find the true self.  At this time I think back on the words of Jesus about losing our life so that we find  it.  Here and there and now and the when I can give up my ego-self I  find myself at one with Christ through the Spirit that dwells within me. I find myself at one with the God whose name is Love and whose other name is Forgiveness. I  find myself at one with others where I can no longer  look upon another person as an indifferent stranger but one in whom I suffer as they suffer. I  also find myself at one with all of life.  I find myself in a world filled with wonder and mystery in some moments I am able to stand in awe of  it  all and realize that I am participating in the Divine.

It is at times like this that  I see the story of Jesus’ resurrection as the story of my own resurrection, raising me from the many death experiences in my life – death from failure, death from the end of some relationships, death from  facing the death of another loved one, death from the loss of vision and dreams, death through  the many frustrations in my struggle for meaning, death through doubt, sorrow and pain, deaths of many kinds.  If I listen carefully I begin to hear the first faint sound of a voice somewhere deep within me saying there is purpose in life, and in my life, whether I understand it completely or not. This purpose follows me through my doubts, my ups and downs, my fear, my indifference, my boredom, until I have a moment that I can shout so the world can hear  “Here and there and now and then, I am a new creation”.  This is resurrection.  This is the new life.

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