Beyond the Patio

What Keeps Us From Caring?
Luke 10:25-37

I have always understood the parables and many of the stories in Scripture, although told in a different place and time,  are really about us. In regard to this understanding, I have tried to put myself into the characters in the story. In the story of the Good Samaritan, I have often put myself in the place of the Good Samaritan who overcame prejudice and saw a person who traditionally he should not have had any dealings with, as a person in need that he could show his love toward.  Putting myself in his shoes I know there have been people in my life that I would rather not associate with but coming to see them in their extreme need as people like me and reach out to them with love, care and compassion. I found that working with addictions there were some people that I would rather not have on my case load, but in the end I was able to overcome those feelings and help them.  Even though it might have seemed an inadequate response at the time, it was what I could do to help another person to take a step into a new life.

Today as I come face to face with this parable again, I am inclined to put myself into the shoes of those that passed by, the priest and the Levite, and ask my self the reason why I would pass by a person or people in obvious need.  We hear the cry of great need everywhere. I hear it everywhere I go.  I hear that cry every time I pick up a newspaper, listen to the radio, or watch the TV.  I hear it on the news.  I also hear it through the stories that are presented through the media.   No matter how often we are made aware of people in need, we don’t seem to be able to live up the  Golden Rule of doing unto others, no matter who they are, as we would have done unto  ourselves. Why is that?

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Sometimes we don’t get involved because it will take so much time that we don’t feel that we have. We live in such a pace these days that we just don’t have time.

An ethics professor at Princeton Seminary asked for volunteers for an extra assignment. Fifteen students showed up. He divided the group of fifteen into three groups of five each. He instructed the first group of five to proceed immediately across the campus to a certain spot; if they didn’t get there in fifteen minutes their grade would be affected. A minute or two later he instructed the second group to proceed across the campus to the same spot; but they were given forty-five minutes to get there. After they left he instructed the last group to go across the campus to that spot too; but they were given three hours for the trip.

Now, unknown to any of these students, the teacher had arranged with three students from the Drama Department to meet them along the way, acting as people in great need: the first one they met covered his head with his hands and moaned out loud as though in great pain; the second, a little bit further along the way, was on some steps lying face down as if unconscious; the third, on the very steps of the destination, acted out an epileptic seizure. You know what the ethics professor discovered? Not one of the first group stopped, two of the second group stopped, and all five of the third group stopped. What the experiment tells us is that when we are too busy, with tight schedules and impossible deadlines, there is no time for love.

(Keith Wagner, Words to Remember, adapted from Adrian Dieleman, Love One Another)

That is a sad commentary on our lives when we don’t have time to love.

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Sometimes we don’t want to get involved because we don’t think we have anything to give. For example, you see a car plunge into a river after an accident and you can’t swim so what are you to do?    At other times we don’t respond because we are afraid of the consequences. Sometimes there is a fear of improperly performing CPR or for providing an unintentional injury in attempts to help.  The fear of lawsuits and lack of knowledge are some factors in bystanders hesitating to provide first-aid at accident scenes. For example, I heard of  a case a few years ago in California, where one person pulled another from a car that had collided with a post. That person ended up being sued as the victim claimed injuries were exacerbated by being pulled from the car.

It all boils down to some times we are afraid to take the risk because it might end up hurting ourselves or others.

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We are sometimes affected by what is known as  the “bystander effect,” a psychological effect where people in large groups are unlikely to respond to someone in need, create situations where victims sometimes don’t get care in emergency situations. We get caught up in a group observing someone in trouble and becoming mesmerized by what is happening right in front of us and no one makes a move to help.  There was an incident that was reported in the news awhile back reporting that a woman was being attacked beaten and raped on the street of a large city.  Many people observed what was happening looking at it from the windows, doorways and at a distance on the street but no one stepped in to help.

There is are many of us that are willing to “let someone else do it” .  There was a piece that appeared in a Lutheran Church newsletter called “Let Someone Else do it”

“Let Someone Else do it…”

The church was saddened to learn of the death this week of one of our church’s most valuable members. Someone Else.

Someone Else’s passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Someone Else has been with us for many years. Someone Else did far more than a normal person’s share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s list: “Let Someone Else do it.”

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in the church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference. Someone Else was a wonderful person-sometimes appearing superhuman, but a person can only do so much. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else.

Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but WHO is going to do the things Someone Else did? When you are asked to help, REMEMBER-we can’t depend on Someone Else!

-Contribution of Bobbie Mechler to the Trinity Lutheran Church Newsletter, Walnut Creek, CA, January 1979.

So what if there is no one else to do it? Do we have no responsibility?

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We hear in scripture and our liturgy

“Love the Lord your God with all your hear, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength”

This is the first great commandment.  The second is like unto it:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

There is no commandment greater than these.

If  we are to live a full life, a life of human fulfillment that Jesus taught and showed to the world, we are to act upon those commandments.  We are to act toward our neighbor in a loving, caring and compassion manner regardless of who they are or how we feel toward them. When we think of loving our families and people outside our families, in the community and in the world, it’s not based on a feeling . It is essentially an act. You don’t have to feel fondness toward another to act in a loving way toward them. The Golden rule is not, “FEEL about others as you FEEL about yourself.” The Golden rule is, “DO unto others as you would have them DO unto you.” Its about action not just saying the words. John in one of his epistles admonished his readers: “Little children, let us not love in word and speech, but in deed and in truth.” At the end of the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus  asked which one was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of robbers? The answer was “The one who showed him mercy. Jesus said, “Go and DO likewise.”

If we are do this each of us has to review their life and what may hold us back from helping others.  I don’t know why the priest and the Levite after seeing a person badly beaten on the side of the road, passed by on the other side without doing anything to help. But I know that we have reasons what we may pass by without helping someone in need. We have to face our reluctance and to move beyond it with that inner strength from the Spirit within.  Sometimes it means caring more than others think is wise,  risking  more than others think is safe, dreaming  more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible. It is to have the courage to act even though we are afraid of the risk involved.  I have read somewhere recently that courage is isn’t a matter of being frightened. It’s a being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.

We have to realize that we cant do everything and sometimes we may feel that we fail miserably.  But we just need to do what we can to help another life move forward.  We do what we can and sometimes the result is surprising

A number of years ago, when I was rector of a small parish, a young father phoned me to say that their baby, only a few days old, had died. I went to see the couple and spent a fair amount of time with them. We sat in silence most of the time and had tea together. I felt so inadequate in ministering to them because I didn’t feel that I had anything to say that would comfort them . As I left I had the feeling that I had failed miserably as a pastor to them. We did meet later and planned the funeral for the baby and had a small private service in the church. Some weeks later I received a letter from them saying how much they appreciated my ministry to them in their time of grief. They said that it meant so much to them. Some time passed and I went to see them and they thanked me again. I said, “I don’t recall really saying anything helpful to you at the time” . They replied, “You were there and that was enough.”

We need to keep John Wesley’s words before us:

“Do all the good you can.
By all the means you can.
In all the ways you can.
In all the places you can.
At all the times you can.
To all the people you can.
As long as ever you can.”

It will be enough

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