Beyond the Patio

OUR SEARCH FOR MEANING
Luke 10:38-42

The search for meaning in life is certainly one of the greatest and most persistent drives that people have.  Our circumstances continually change and every time that happens we are faced with the search for new meaning in every new situation.  So, the search for meaning is not a one time thing but goes on and on throughout our lifetime.

A number of years ago Viktor Frankl wrote a small book called Man’s Search For Meaning. (1) The basis for his writing was his experience in Nazi concentration camps during the World War II.  He found even in those adverse circumstances that he had to find meaning.  He had to find at that time and in that place some particular life task for himself.  He saw that those who were unable to find meaning in that situation often gave up and even faced an early death.

The things that Frankl normally took for granted had been taken away from him in the prison camp.  All the freedoms that he had once enjoyed were removed from him.  He couldn’t change the conditions under which he labored.  He couldn’t change the outward circumstances. He did not have the freedom to change the situation. He surmised that he had one last freedom and that was that he was able to choose his attitude toward them.  He could allow himself to be overcome by them, to be swept away in their path or he could choose to search for some meaning in it all. If he chose to give up, it was like choosing death.  If he chose to seek for meaning, a life task in the midst of it, he was choosing to survive in order to be able to choose again in other circumstances and situations.

During and partly because of his suffering in concentration camps, Frankl developed a revolutionary approach to psychotherapy known as Logo therapy.

At the core of his theory is the belief that humanity’s primary motivational force is the search for meaning, and the work of the logo therapist centers on helping the patient find personal meaning in life, however dismal the circumstances may be.

He determined that there were three main areas of finding meaning:

1. Creativity (giving something to the world through self-expression: using our talents in various ways; i.e., the work we do, the gifts we give to life).
2. Experiencing (receiving from the world: through nature, culture, relationships, interactions with others and with our environment).
3. Change of attitude (even if we can’t change a situation or circumstance, we can still choose our attitude toward a condition; this is often a self-transcending way of finding meaning, especially in unavoidable suffering).

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We often get hung up on the belief that we can find meaning in only one way.  In the culture in which we live we are led to think the meaning of our lives is measured by how attractive we are, what we have been able to achieve, and how much money we earn. However, there are some other creative activities that are important to the meaning of our lives.  They may seem insignificant to the rest of the world but may be highly significant to us at a certain time and circumstance in our lives.

Since I retired I have found painting in watercolour or acrylic very meaningful to me.  I may not be considered by others to be a good artist. I’ve taken many courses led by well known artists in this area and beyond and have learned a great deal from them. However, I may not achieve anything in the eyes of others.  I may not make any money at it but for me personally it meets a need and  releases some creativity that has laid dormant within me. It is a way of relating to nature.  It is a way of interacting with the world.   I find it so satisfying and meaningful

Also relationships with others are important in our search for meaning. When I look back on my whole life, it really isn’t what I have accomplished that is important, or what educational level I have been able to achieve, or what titles or status I have had been able to obtain.  All those things are soon forgotten if they even ever existed.  No,  I think it is the relationships that I have, the love I  have received and been able to give that is most important to me.

I think that is what is important to me in this story in the Gospel about Mary and Martha.    One could say that Martha was tied up in a whole lot of housework and distracted by many of her tasks. She wanted everyone else and especially Mary to do the same.    Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to him and conversed with him.  She chose to concentrate on the relationship. Jesus says to Martha when she tried to get Jesus to tell Mary to help her:

 “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10: 41 and 42)

I don’t think that we could say that what Martha was doing wasn’t important.  It was important.  Hospitality was important.  Doing the mundane tasks are important.  But in these circumstances with Jesus on his way to Jerusalem where he was to face suffering and death, the relationship was even more important.

There are times that relationships have to take priority beyond all the tasks that need to be performed, and I also believe it is in relationship where the greatest meaning in life is found.

I remember the story of a man who had accomplished much in life and could be considered “well-off” but who became overwhelmed by the weariness of life.  He reached a point when nothing he had done in the past had any meaning to him at all. He wondered what life was all about and even considered ending it, until he found a woman in a similar situation. He then saw his task in relating to her and comforting here in her weariness of life.  In this caring and supporting relationship with this other person, his life suddenly took on new meaning.

The realm of relationships in life are so important to our meaning and total well-being.

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We all need to discover meaning in our time and circumstance whether we are business people, labourers,  teenagers, doctors, nurses, ministers, housekeepers, farmers, workers in a coffee shop, students, parents, a patient in hospital, a person suffering from various sorts of disability or whatever sorts and conditions we find ourselves in. Creative activity as well as accomplishments and achievement are significant in our search for meaning.  I wouldn’t downplay that in any way. However, in the continual search for meaning we always have to consider the place that relationships have in our lives – the working with one another, the encounters with one another, the sharing with one another, the ministering to one another, the love that we receive from others and that which we are able to give. We can’t ignore them because we will find in the long run that giving, caring, and loving relationships will bring us more happiness, and  yes,  sometimes more heartache than anything else in life, but we will more meaning than anything else.

It is so easy to get distracted by the routine of things and the many tasks that we are required to do.  Like Martha we get overly concerned by so many things period, that we miss the people around us.

At that point we could well listen to Jesus words:

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

(1) Viktor E. Frankl Man’s Search For Meaning, Washington Square Press, New York, NY, 1963

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